Shame is saying hurtful words you don’t mean. Shame is unwillingly consuming every potato chip. Shame is isolating yourself. Shame is hating your body, hurting your body. Shame is taking another drink when you know you shouldn’t. Shame is wrongfully blaming someone else. Shame is being someone you are not. Shame is caving into your demons. Shame is disrespecting yourself.Read More
So what happens during Therapy?
You’ve made an appointment. You’ve come to the office. You’ve met your therapist, gone to the office, and are now sitting, looking at them as they look back at you. What now? Do you start talking about your childhood? Do you wait for them to speak first? What if you’re not even sure what you want from therapy?Read More
I have come to realize that there are topics that I enjoy writing about more than others.
Naturally these are the topics that are easy for me, and probably others. So in true fashion of my stubborn self writing about grief was difficult for me and brought up a lot of emotion.Read More
What the heck does holding space for yourself and people in your life mean?
Throughout life I thought I was holding space and I realized I was doing all the opposite things of holding space for myself and especially others. I recently had a weekend filled with space holding from some fierce women, that I am in awe of. Not only did one or two of us display this, but all four of us were on the same page and it was one of the most healing things that I have experienced. Ladies you know who you are, and thank you!Read More
It’s no secret that your twenties are a turbulent time, regardless of who you are.
Those years are full of self-exploration, mistakes, heartache and internal/external pressures.Read More
It smelled like an old cabin. It looked like a room you might see in church camp. I laid in the bed looking at the ceiling. Is this a dream? What the hell is happening?
I had imagined many times that I would be found out and everyone would know about my secret. None of my scenarios ended with me sitting in rehab. Nothing can prepare you for the feeling of knowing you have let everyone down and that everyone knows you are a fraud. How the hell does a person end up like this?Read More
When you think of fulfillment what do you think of? Is fulfillment something that is the result of what happens to you?
In other words, if things go my way, I’m happy and fulfilled. As a therapist, I get to see a wide range of people and problems. I believe that the game of happiness is grounded in a few pillars. In my experience, people that can grasp some of these concepts are on their way to living a life fulfilled.Read More
I'm exhausted. Not just some of the time, but all the time.
The thoughts in my head are moving at the speed of a jet plane, so all I can see are small glimpses of the things I need to get done, the things I want to do, the things others are expecting of me. Performing even one task all the way to completion seems to take an entire day with all the distractions of my thoughts and things pulling on me.Read More
Russell Westbrook is all of my life goals.
When the Oklahoma City Thunder started the 2016/2017 season in October, things looked grim. The Thunder roster seemed utterly different than it did just one season before when eliminated from the Western Conference finals in seven games. This season many thought the team would be lucky to make the playoffs at all.Read More
The diet starts on Monday. How many of us have been there?
Monday was a struggle, but everything went according to the plan. Day one complete. Tuesday, someone brings a donut to work. I had one. But just one. I had maybe half of my self-control intact. Then I just decided to go out to lunch and eat whatever since I already screwed everything up and ruined the diet today anyways. The food was terrific but the guilt and shame quickly set in.Read More
“What is the solution?” says the wife of an addict, the mother of and alcoholic, and the addicts and alcoholics who have had enough.
To the family member, the solution may be anything that can make their loved one stop using drugs and alcohol. Anything that returns their loved one back to them. It’s common for family members to say they just want the old person back again. That looks like a successful solution to them. Is this wrong?Read More
Some time ago I was approached and asked by an individual, “What professional team do you play for?”
I responded to the question by saying that I’m not a professional athlete. She then said, “I thought you were someone important”. It would have been easy to react to the lady, who was a white woman, disgusted and irritated by her statement. I could’ve made an argument that because I have brown skin, in her eyes, the only way I could be important is to play a sport. I could’ve gotten even more upset because she couldn’t have fathomed the idea that I could be an educated professional, a business owner, or even an author because of the color of my skin. I could have but chose not to hold onto those thoughts and go with The Only Choice.Read More
I’ve always wanted to be one of those women who exuded strength and softness at the same time.
To me, there is nothing more beautiful and honorable than a woman who carries these opposing characteristics simultaneously. I believe most of these people have been through a few things in their lives, and rather than becoming bitter and resentful, they become strong because they had to, and soft because they now understand?Read More